


I Miss You

by StrikingThunder



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Big Spoilers, Blind V, Death, M/M, Post Secret Endings, Rika's a bitch, Sad Jumin, Secret Endings, Spoilers, all the spoiler, enough spoiler, just sad, not all but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 12:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16723407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrikingThunder/pseuds/StrikingThunder
Summary: Jumin Han is struggling to accept the fact that V is no longer in this world- maybe one more glass of wine will help.





	I Miss You

It was a cold night, a stale feeling in the air that not even the company director’s expensive purifier could clear. It was bothersome, always there, ever since he left. It weighed heavily like a ton of bricks crushing him from the inside, no matter how hard he tried, they just wouldn't spill out. Always there. Always hurting. Constant like the knowledge that _he’s never coming back._

Jumin tipped back the glass of wine, letting the soothing liquid pour past his lips. Tonight, he wasn't drinking for pleasure as he usually would. He wanted to feel numb. A bottle and a half already gone, it wasn't enough. It still hurt. 

The gentle nuzzling of a furry muzzle into his hand brought him back to reality for a moment- just a moment. Yes, he still had Elizabeth. He wasn't alone. Jumin stroked the cat's soft white fur, quickly falling back into a daze as he gazed down at the creature on his lap. She was a gift from V- V had named her- _V._

The sudden sob escaping him startled Elizabeth, but she stayed where she was, merely flinching. _Why did it have to be him? Why did he leave me?_

It had only been a week since V took a bullet- self inflicted, they had been told. Jumin had always known that V was struggling, but he didn't know the extent of it. He didn't know it was bad enough for him to crave his own death. Bad enough to go through with it. Did Jumin not show enough support? Was he not there when V needed him the most? Did his lack of knowledge when dealing with emotions lead him to be unaware, when the warning signs may have been clear to others? Was he not a good enough friend?

“God…” Jumin breathed out shakily, reaching up to wipe the tears he hadn't realized were falling. From how streaked his cheeks were with them, he knew they must've been falling for a while now. “Why him? He was such an amazing person… always so kind, always sacrificing himself so everyone else could be at peace… you remember, don't you, Elizabeth?” 

A shaky hand moved up to scratch behind the cat’s ear, her steady purring turning out to be more comforting than the alcohol- but that didn't stop Jumin from taking another sip. “He brought you to me when you were very young… you’ve known him your whole life. You must miss him too… you always loved him… _I_ loved him…” 

If Jumin had expressed his feelings, would that have helped? Would that have made it worse? He never could while V and Rika were together, he didn't want to cause any unnecessary tension. And afterwards… well, V wasn't about to forget about Rika and move on, right up to his last breath, he held onto her. But she was _toxic._

If Jumin had known about how their relationship truly was, he wouldn't have stood by and let it go on until it killed him. At the time, he assumed the incident with V’s eyes was a one off moment of violence- Rika lashing out during a breakdown- an accident. That's what V made him believe… but it was no accident. 

~*~

“I can't see…”

“That's because there's bandages over your eyes. Here, hold onto me- yes, that's my arm. Good.”

Jumin felt nothing but sympathy as he led his best friend out of the hospital room and into the hallway. He was still in shock over the whole ordeal- especially after V had reluctantly admitted to him that it was Rika who had injured him. The doctors had assured Jumin multiple times that V’s vision would not be lost as long as he took the surgery available to fix his eyes, but no date had been set for that as of now. He still worried, however unlike him that was. 

V tripping over a stray wire quickly brought Jumin back to reality, and he quickly held out his arm to prevent his friend from falling. V let out a sheepish chuckle, turning his head towards Jumin- though he was a bit off. “It’s a bit hard to walk when you can't see…” 

“I don't doubt it. Should I slow down?” Jumin asked, and was suddenly glad V couldn't see at the moment, as his face flushed red. It was rare for the stoic and intimidating Jumin Han to become flustered, but he couldn't help it with how close V had moved. He was almost fully pressed up against Jumin's side, nearly hugging his arm with how he was holding it. The closeness of their faces was most likely purely accidental on V’s part, but it still made Jumin think things that he shouldn't dream of. 

“No, that's okay… I’ll just stay closer, if you don't mind.” V said, a small smile on his face. That irresistible smile that Jumin could stare at all day. 

Jumin did his best to regain his composure- it’d be pathetic if he couldn't. His friend was just a bit close- they had certainly been closer before. “Yes, that's fine.” He said, continuing to walk, being more aware of where V was stepping this time. The two managed to make it out to the waiting room without any more disturbances, besides V slowing down once in a while to keep his footing. The next words to leave the photographer’s mouth made Jumin's head dip in shame. 

“Is Rika here?” V turned his head away from Jumin, as if he was trying to look around for his fiancée, though all he could see was black. 

“I asked her to come with me, but she declined.” Jumin replied, almost hesitant to do so. His voice was as cold as usual to an untrained ear, but he knew V would pick up on the hint of sympathy. 

“Oh…” That sound of disappointment coming from V had been enough to make Jumin wish he had dragged his female friend to hospital with him instead of letting her say no. 

“I see… she was probably too guilty to come.” V sounded too desperately hopeful for Jumin to not grow suspicious. “I hope she knows I’m not mad… I can't wait to see her again. I have to get home to her.”

Jumin continued leading V to the front doors of the hospital, where he had a van waiting for them outside. “Are you sure everything’s alright between you two?” He couldn't help but ask. He never cared for gossip, he wouldn't ask for that- he was just genuinely concerned for his friend. Rika had hurt his eyes, and then didn't even want to come to pick him up from the hospital. Anyone would have reason for suspicion. 

V nodded almost too quickly. “Of course- I love her. It was an accident- only an accident.” 

_Only an accident._ Years later, Jumin would come to regret trusting that statement. 

 

~*~

 

Why did Rika get to live on while V died? It wasn't fair- none of this was fair. He loved him. Jumin loved him. He couldn't get over that fact- and the fact that he was never able to express that. 

All those long nights spent together drinking wine and talking, a bit tipsy, but keeping their heads. When V put his all efforts into making Jumin laugh and it worked, bringing out the sound that very few people ever heard. Sleepovers that never really stopped as they got older, only becoming more rare, where some nights Jumin would get up at ridiculous hours just to watch V’s peaceful sleeping form. That harsh feeling of jealousy when V started dating, Jumin being alone and confused- why did he care? It was V’s life, he could do what he wanted. No, he cared because he loved Jihyun first. Before those women took his attention away from him. Before Rika came into their lives. 

Jumin had quickly pushed his feelings aside. V was straight, he knew this, and he accepted it. He’d stay his best friend, he'd stay quiet, as long as V was happy, he was happy. 

But V was never happy. Neither was Jumin. 

“I miss you, Jihyun…” The words barely passed Jumin's lips as he stared sorrowfully out the window. He missed him, and he'd never stop missing him. The loneliness would carry on, nothing to soothe the aching of his shattered heart.


End file.
